Conversion

In December 2011 I lugged my Dell PC Tower to my local Apple Temple and had all the files transferred to my new Macbook Pro.

As I carried the PC Tower to the car I slipped, dropped the tower  causing significant grazing to my knees.  And yet I persisted notwithstanding blood dripping to my ankles.  The Apple Force was strong within me.

Sure there are things about Apple that don't make sense.  Where is the Backspace key and why does the Delete key delete backwards and not forwards?  Do Apple People not need to delete forwards?  Where is the page down key?  And why are downloads so convoluted?

But overall I am a Born Again Appleer.  The Macbook just works, synchs with all my other apple devices and is beautiful to use.  I'm happy to use a PC at work but I look forward to my macbook at home.

Steve Jobs wanted to make technology more humanistic.  A rational person would argue that X brand and Y brand last longer, have more power and better features yet X or Y brand is not about to become the world's first Trillion Dollar company.  A Trillion Dollars tells me that understanding the interaction between the person and the technology (including how to sell it to us) is more important to us than a small difference in power.

Apple doesn't try to be the technical winner; it wins by making me feel good when I use its products.

Things Perth People Like #1: The Thermomix

It took Blossom, oh, five minutes of living in Perth to decide that she couldn't entertain the thought of cooking without a Thermomix.

Perth people LOVE Thermomixes. Kitchens which once proudly displayed a red KitchenAid Mixer now have a Thermomix as pride of place. And at just shy of $2K it is the undisputed trophy kitchen item of the well-heeled in the West.

Australia is the No. 6 country in the world for Thermomix sales - it seems almost all of them on counter-tops in perth's affluent Western Suburbs.

In Sydney Thermomixes are not exactly a household name, although they seem to be catching on in Melbourne - not least because the fabulous Froggie is selling them.  But the Thermomix head office is in Perth and they have clearly done a good job of cornering the market amongst the large contingent of cashed-up families of the resources boom (stick to the Melbourne market Froggie, it's saturated here).

So Perth Centric are these little counter hogs that you will know that my Perth conversion is complete if I ever buy one.  And believe me the pressure from the 13 yo is quite unbearable ever since her Uncle showed her how to make some sort of green grass hippy smoothie with his.

Until then I will continue to use my stove top, my whisk and my wooden spoon.

Things aren't so much Random, as Hell Bogan.

2012 Sculptures by the Sea, Cottesloe

One of the joys of moving interstate is learning a new language.

It is enough that I have to remember to say "Bathers" instead of "Swimmers"or "togs".  The kids no longer take a "kit bag" to school to carry their sports gear; they take a plain old "sports bag".  And sports gear is called sports gear, not kit.  But perhaps that was peculiar to their schools, rather than a general term.

Language can be quite specific not only to a State but a suburb, or even a school.  When I was at high school in Perth many many years ago non-uniform clothes were called "civvies", yet the high school down the road called them "colours".  In Sydney "mufti" was the term used at every school my kids went to.

Blossom (13) told me last night that she has been in fits of giggles at school trying to understand what her friends are saying.  'Random' was a catch-all word for just about everything, good, bad or ugly in Sydney; while in Perth her friends put 'Hell' in front of anything to mean the same thing:

Hell No
Hell Yes

and my personal favourite:

Hell Bogan

Hell Bogan it seems is the best approximation for the negative side of 'Random'.  As in

"OMG I totes need new clothes, mine are Hell Bogan".

Perthites seem to have somewhat of a thing for bogans given the rise of the CUB (Cashed Up Bogan) in the resources boom.

Add to this 'Ceebs' (Can't Be Bothered [with]) and 'Seedy' (not hungover, just creepy or random) you get a sentence like

"OMG I totes ceebs Science today, Chem is Hell Bogan and our teacher is so seedy"

Perth

2012 Sculptures by the Sea, Cottesloe, WA

After living in the East for 16 years Firegazer, Blossom, PL, two cats, two cars, too many boxes of stuff and I have moved back to Perth.  It's a topical place what with Gina squabbling with her children and Eastern States journos squealing about the lack of taxis.

Some things haven't changed (good, bad and ugly) in 16 years:

• Magnificent beaches with FREE all-day parking (read that and weep Sydney-siders)
• Proper hot weather with low humidity
• Fish'n'Chips wrapped in large swathes of butcher's paper, sprayed in vinegar
• Sunsets over the beach.  If you have no other reason to visit, this is sufficient.
• Draconian retail laws that dictate that I must spend quality time with my family on a Sunday.
• A complete disregard for all things from the East, except for shoes or coffee from/in Melbourne which seem to be okay.
• Perthonalities.  When you live so far from anywhere its hard to attract real celebrities so we make up our own.
• Telethon.  The only state who still holds a 24 hour telethon.  Perth didn't get the memo about this one.
• Laid back pace.  I spent the first two weeks bumping into people in the street I was so out of step with the vibe.  You really need to chill when you come here.
• Casual dress code.  School cocktail party?  Shorts, thongs and t-shirt completely fine.  Fine dining?  Replace thongs with covered shoes.  The guy sitting next to you in a suit won't even blink an eye.
• Down South.  Everyone goes, every holidays.  More people, more development but once you are on the beach it's essentially the same.
• Nicknames.  Everyone is Robbo, Johnno, and Warbo or their variations Robbie, Johnnie and Warby.  Even at work.  Especially at work.  Even in posh offices.
• Rotto.  Even the holiday destinations have nicknames.  Rottnest is still top of the pops.  Just more expensive for a basic hut and BYO sheets.  Still one of the best holiday places EVA.
• Short sleeved business shirts.  Not as common as 16 years ago but I drove past an Engineering association's offices at lunch time a couple of weeks back and was confronted by a sea of bearded men wearing short sleeved shirts with pens in the top pockets.  I was glad to be spared shorts with long socks.
• The North/South divide.  Just like Sydney. No one crosses the bridge unless they have to.
• Disregard for laws.  Bike helmets? optional. 
• You can park on verges.  And in driveways (as long as you don't park on the footpath).

But some things have changed:

• Traffic.  OMG.  I was looking forward to the lack of traffic in Perth.  But no - the population has boomed but the infrastructure has stayed the same.  Perth really could do with a tunnel or three.
• Sharks.  We had sharks back in the day, we just didn't go on about them - except to our Eastern States friends to show how tough we are.  Now sharks are the in thing.  Our media just love it when they eat one of our own.  Or preferably a visitor from Sydney.
• Bali.  Bali is now a northern suburb of Perth in habited by CUBs (Cashed Up Bogans) on the swing shift from their FIFO (fly in fly out) jobs in the resources industry.
• Rotto.  Rottnest Island is still a favourite destination but you have to win a ballot to get a place to stay in peak times and it's cheaper to go to Bali.
• Tattoos.  I feel like one of the few people in Perth without a full or half-sleeve tattoo.  You get them on the cheap in Bali.
• Medical tourism.  Want a boob job?  Go to Thailand.  Why not go with the girls for a fun week away and have the whole body done over?
• Taxis.  Forget it.  There aren't enough. Ever.  The Taxi board has just been granted 300 more licences but with the resources boom sucking up labour they're not sure how to get people to drive the taxis.  Luckily the bike paths are fabulous here.  
• Airport.  Don't catch an early morning flight.  With FIFO all the rage here the airport is overcrowded every morning with the Hi-Vis shirt brigade.  
• Cost of everything.  This is not a cheap place to live.  The cost of labour has driven up the cost of food, eating out, household services and rent.  If you work in resources you'll earn the salary to match but it's a two-speed economy.  It's really best to entertain at home.
• Ties.  Only worn by lawyers and sports coaches/administrators.  Finally, we've worked out it's too bloody hot for them.

It's easy to pick on Perth, and many people do.  This is not advisable.  Perth people get very touchy about their city and you don't want to mess with a CUB who's tired after working 21x12 hour shifts in a row. 

The thing is not to compare Perth to Sydney or Melbourne but to accept Perth for itself.   If you accept Perth without making comparisons it is a sea-change paradise.  If you stop comparing you will notice all the things that the East doesn't have.  Like lack of stress, casual dress code, fab weather and gold rush feel. So, I've resolved to get with the Vibe of the place, get myself a nickname, invite people over for a BBQ and enjoy getting home from work in the daylight with enough time to ride to the beach to dodge the sharks.

So come visit, but if you're from Over East keep it quiet.  I don't want to be accused of harbouring undesirables