Sydney Writers' Festival - The Kids' Big Day Out

Today is the official start of the Sydney Writers' Festival*. It will go until Sunday 3rd June and features writers from all over Australia as well as a number of international ones.

Today KelpieBlossom, and two of her friends, attended a full-day writing class for 9-12 year olds taken by Tashi author, Anna Fienberg. The kids learnt about drawing on their own feelings to make imaginary stories seem real. They were also set a number of writing exercises. KelpieBlossom wrote a great story called The Ball and the Chest but didn't want it reproduced here. She was happy, however, to share this great exercise about an imaginary home.

Home by KelpieBlossom

I have a small home but everyone can get around. I have a small backyard - for my jumbo jet; a little pond - to fit my 300ft yacht; a teeny paddock at the back of my house - for my pony and 3000 of his closest friends.

I have a simple little bedroom to fit 900 of my toys. And a cinema. My bathroom is...o - kay... It only has a TV on the floor, a water feature, automatic toilets, golden walls and a lifetime supply of bubblebath.

The kitchen is only big enough to fit a giant. It has three fridges, two ovens, eight stoves, one tap, a pantry the size of my room and a cupboard - the size of a church.

Did I mention we have a robot that cleans our house everyday? My mum and dad's room is a dump. It only has a king-size bed, a carpet made out of golden silk, a wardrobe the size of a cinema and diamonds, sent from the Queen, hanging up.

Getting onto the playroom. It's messy, it's dumb and I want another one. It can only fit 6,000 of my toys, a huge golden couch, a home cinema and a silky carpet.

Isn't it so embarrassing to have a dump like this for a home?!

KelpieBlossom was so excited by this workshop and said "I would do one every weekend if I could".

At 5pm Padawan Learner and I crossed the Bridge to meet up with KelpieBlossom to go the Kids' Night Out. An event where the kids listen to popular children's authors and illustrators talk about their work. There are also the obligatory book purchasing and signing opportunities...

Image courtesy www.swf.org.au: Bernard Gallate getting suggestions from the audience for his latest book

We listened to Jackie French talk about her pet Wombat Mothballs; we heard Bruno Bouchet talk about how snot can be used as a weapon to fight aliens and helped Bernard Gallate write alternate endings for his next book.

As usual it was a great night out with our library weighing heavy with the new, signed, purchases (Diary of a Wombat, Tashi the Story of a Boy, Lab Rats in Space).


*for those who like to debate the positioning of apostrophes - this is the official placement of the SWF apostrophe.

Last Chance to Choose an Alias

So far the consensus is that 007 would be a good alternative alias for Husband No. 1. It projects a strong, suave and sophisticated person who is the employee of M. All good so far. However, given 007's reputation in the womanising stakes I'm thinking that 006 or 005 may be more suitable.

If you have an alternative alias you should post it to the comments section before we make a decision. Yes, that means all of you who read this blog but don't comment...

"Our favourite park" by KelpieBlossom* and Padawan Learner

Dear Family and Friends,

Our favourite park in Sydney is the "Spiderweb Park" (AKA Bradfield Park Playground) in Kirribilli. It is very new. A rusty set of swings used to be there. Now there is a nice playground with lots of big rope "spiderwebs". It is under the Sydney Harbour Bridge and you can see the opera house.




It also has a great game of twister!

and two big trees for shade, a harbour-bridge rocker and somewhere for little kids to play

It's not the biggest park we go to but it has the best view.

We hope you will come to visit us soon so we can take you there!

Love KelpieBlossom* and Padawan Learner

*Kelpie has asked to change her alias to KelpieBlossom.

Wallabies a bit wobbly but got there in the end

We all schlepped off to Telstra Stadium to watch the "Wobblies" beat Wales last night. Not that it was looking that way with 30 seconds to go. For most of the match I was thinking it's lucky Telstra Stadium puts on good pre-show entertainment otherwise I'd be seriously wondering why we made such an effort to go to the boon docks.

Do you realise HOW FAR Homebush Bay (aka Sydney Olympic Park) is from the City? Would you go to Kwinana to watch the Eagles or Dockers play? Actually its not so much the distance, as the traffic. Last time I went to Homebush was to watch U2 play. It took us two hours to get there, they played for 1 1/2 hours and it took us 2 hours to get home. That was by train.

This time we thought we'd go by car. I think it may be illegal to go there by car, but we did it anyway. And guess what? Got a car park within 500m. Admittedly there were only 42,000 people at the match.

Anyway, even if you don't like the Rugby the pre-match entertainment is worth it. Not cheerleader entertainment you understand, general people entertainment. There are always loads of food stalls (I was picked on by the crowd for eating Vegetarian Pad Thai), fun games and people doing silly things.

Padawan Learner only goes for the pre-match fun. He ate two Hot Dogs, one icecream and had fun on the horizontal Bungy (where you try to score tries while running along a air filled cushion attached to a bungy rope). There was live music and many opportunities to open your wallet to purchase merchandise.

So you will understand that the Wallabies' poor showing until the last 30seconds was a bit of a let down after the pre-match excitement. Kelpie drew pictures, Padawan Learner entertained the guy in front by kicking his chair and Husband No. 1 looked generally in pain. Having never been to a Rugby International I thought it was all cool. In fact I think I actually "get" the game now. The Welsh guy sitting behind us was also having fun.

In the end it was all worth it. The Wobblies won, the Welsh guy behind us cried and we drove home in the comfort of our own car.

How to tell if your heating is on

Husband No. 1 feels "pre-named"

Husband No. 1 feels that, he too, was "pre-named" (see previous blog) and would like a new alias. Padawan Learner suggested Jedi Master, but he can't be that until he learns the way of The Force (that would be me).

So, I think we should have a little competition. Best alias, as voted by Husband No. 1 (ha, as if), wins. Prize is the honour and glory of being the official Alias Chooser.

Please submit your entries via the comments box.

Thou Shouldst Wait a Year before Naming Your Pet

We have a tradition of pre-naming. Our children were named long before they greeted the world. It may surprise you to realise that Kelpie and Padawan Learner are not their *real names*. No, these well chosen epithets emerged only once their true characters emerged.

Likewise, we named our two cats before they were collected. By chance their names reflect their looks. Biggie is big, despite starting as the runt of the litter. Marble is, well, marble-patterned. Yawn.

Had we taken the time to assess their true natures we would've named them differently.

Biggie appears to be somewhat understaffed in the neuron department. He will stare intently at a partially open door but not push it open wide enough to get through. Not even when dinner is being offered. Suggested new name: Forrest (as in Gump: "I am not a smart cat")

Marble is quite the opposite. She has regularly 'rescued' Biggie from a cupboard and is adept at opening the door to the bin cupboard - even though we stick it shut with Blu-tack. She climbs trees and Pergolas, and last night was seen resting on top of a door (not door frame, door). Sugested new name: Houdini.

Perhaps we should sign up as members of the Slow Naming Movement. We would however not be the first. We have friends who took so long to name one of their children that the Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages rang them to give them a hurry up.

I didn't video the school concert...and it's okay

This past week has been Education Week in NSW. Our school ended the week with a concert featuring every student in the school.

Kelpie played the lead role of Ella in her class play "Computerella" and Padawan Learner sang two songs along with everyone else in his year. I did not video the concert. I did not take photographs. Not even one. Not even before or after the concert. I just sat there and watched.

I was nervous at first. Would I be sent to the parent 'naughty corner' for such a breach of concert etiquette? Was it obvious that I turned up without any electronic paraphernalia? Well, I am here to tell the tale. And it was okay.

I reminded myself that, to my knowledge, there are no records of my thespian attempts in Trial by Jury, or The Golden Fleece. No voice recordings of my school choir attempting The Oratorio (thank goodness). Am I damaged by this? No, quite relieved!

So, I sat and enjoyed watching Kelpie play the part of Ella clearly and confidently. I noticed every expression, got every joke. I noticed that Padawan Learner knew all the words and hand actions to "Miss Sue" and seemed to enjoy every minute of it. I can relate all of this to you in detail because I saw it with my own eyes and not through a viewfinder.

I'm sorry that I have no photos or video footage to post. Perhaps you, too, would like to come and watch the next concert free of your electronic paraphernalia.

Solution for boys who leave the seat up

Do you have a problem with boys leaving the seat up? Are your bathroom fixtures unable to keep up with the punishment dealt out by the men in your family? Via one of my favourite blogs, Unclutterer, comes the PenalWare Comby.

Tested in the harshest environment (correctional facilities) and guaranteed to be "suicide resistant". This combines toilet and washing facility in one. There are no tricky bits to clean, no sharp edges and no-one's head can be flushed down the toilet. Just what you needed? Hmm.

I can see these taking off in back toilets all over the nation.

Lamby's famous!

Lamby is now basking in fame in the US! Unfortunately, he can't win because he is not a resident of the USofA.

The Lore of School Hats

I must ring our school clothing store to find out what is their best selling item. My guess is the school hat. School hats are compulsory all year at our school. If you forget or lose your hat you have to sit under the COLA (covered outdoor learning area) all lunchtime and you are excluded from all outside sport/learning activities. It's a big deal.

Two weeks ago Padawan Learner lost not only his main hat, but his spare hat. For the last two weeks he has been wearing the spare spare hat. Why do we have so many spare hats? Whenever one of the kids loses a hat I wait as long as possible before purchasing a new one. This time I waited two weeks, during that time I looked in lost property every day, sent a note in to the teacher, checked the playground everyday before pickup. No, this time, definately lost. The spare spare hat is too small and is "a bit girly" according to PL.

Yesterday morning I lined up with the other parents to buy a new hat. Yesterday afternoon Padawan Learner came home with Hat No. 1; this morning Hat No. 2 turned up on his hook. I'm thinking there is a clothing shop conspiracy going on here.

This is not the first time this has happened. The kids have lost every school hat we've ever bought, and'found it' again after I've purchased a new one. We are now the proud owners of FIVE school hats. And the school clothing shop is laughing all the way to the bank.

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Lamby may yet get his 15 minutes of fame

Ten Speed Press in the US are holding a competition for the cutest stuffed toy from your childhood. The winner receives a stuffed toy, t-shirt and a copy of their book: Dirty Wow Wow and other love stories (weird title of book about our much loved toys and blankies).

So, of course I couldn't resist but post this photo of Kelpie's much-loved lamby:

I will check in a day or so to see if he gets his well deserved fame...

Read: "Suite Francaise" by Irene Nemirovsky

Are you a member of a book group? Are you looking for something to read? I suggest putting your name down at your local library for "Suite Francaise" by Irene Nemirovsky. However, you may need to wait awhile. In the mean time here is my brief synopsis (no spoilers):

• Well known pre-WWII writer Irene Nemirovsky pens draft novel about the experience of civilians in occupied France.



• Novel is written as the events are occurring around her.



• Plans to write the novel in 5 parts (Storm in June, Dolce, Captivity, Battles, Peace?) and intends it to be France's answer to War and Peace.



• Completes the first two parts before being arrested and sent to Auschwitz where she dies.



• Her young daughters escape being transported and are in hiding throughout the war. They have with them a suitcase containing the novels which they never read (they think they are war diaries)



• In the 1990s they realise that her diaries are in fact a fully formed novel. Published novel wins Prix de Renodout in 2004 (first ever given posthumously).



• Remarkably, despite being of Jewish heritage & forced to wear the Star of David the novels are in no way about the experiences of Jews during the war.

This is a beautiful book, the highest rated ever in my Sydney book group.

Club Band Camp

If you're thinking that Kelpie was suffering at one of those school camp facilities you remember as a child, think again. It was 5 star all the way. Five children to a room with double-bunks and TWO ensuite bathrooms; lovely bushland setting with sweeping views of the ocean. Ha, that's not a camp, its Club Med with a Parent's Club (ie we had to stay at home). This is the view from the verandah of the main building:


We parents were rostered on for various duties throughout the weekend. Luckily I drew the middle-of-the-day shift on Saturday. Those parents rostered on on Friday night (including the Principal) were reportedly up to the wee hours of the morning encouraging sleep out of over-energetic kids. Memories of boarding school came flooding back. I was smiling as I watched the kids file in for lunch, sit until the whole table was finished then scrape their plates, wipe down their tables and put their hands up to ask permission to leave. Bring on a full two-week camp for the year 3s I say.

After 10 hours of music tuition and practise over the weekend we parents were treated to a Mother's Day Concert this afternoon. And, actually, they sounded quite good.

To think it's only another two years before Padawan Learner can join the band and be at Band Camp with Kelpie - a whole weekend to ourselves in the Parent's Club!

Happy Mother's Day

This morning I declared that today was the start Of Mother's Weekend. This announcement was met by a frown from Husband No. 1, a shrug of the shoulders from Padawan Learner and a look of utter panic from Kelpie. Minutes later, realising that she would be away on Mother's Day, Kelpie produced a lovely decorated note:

At 7.45am we trotted off to school for the annual Mother's Day Breakfast. This is one of the few times that dads are seen at the school, and even more rarely, caught cooking food for the Mums. It's always a popular morning with tables decorated by each class the day before. We had a lovely breakfast of Bacon and Egg roll, yoghurt, muffin, fruit and a bottomless cup of tea or coffee (yes, capuccinos available).

I'm now looking forward to a sleep-in with a cup of tea and a book on Sunday.

Happy Mother's Weekend to all our Mothers!

Off to Band Camp

The bag is packed, clarinet ready, music stand CLEARLY NAMED WITH SUPPLIED LABEL ATTACHED and the SMALL BACKPACK has her band book, notebook, pencil, sharpener and warm jumper.

Kelpie is off to Band Camp tomorrow with 119 other 8 - 13 year olds from her school. eeek. Camp is a whole 45 minute drive away on the Northern Beaches. They will have intensive tutorials plus band practise all weekend culminating in a concert on Sunday at 2pm. She's in a quandary whether to take her teddy or not. "Will the other kids have theirs?".

Kelpie will have a wonderful time, Padawan Learner will revel in being an 'only child' for two nights and Husband No. 1 will fall asleep in front of the TV as usual. I, on the other hand, will be awake for 48 hours straight. Here's to a long weekend.

WYS is not WYG: Fast food ads - the reality

These photos speak for themselves. Who's for a Mac Attack? Blurgh. I'm particularly taken by the Taco Bell number.

Jeepers, I'm sure it was sabotage

You will have read, by now, how superior my Volvo is to a Jeep when it comes to carrying large trestle tables. Well I don't think Jeep owners like to hear this. A funny thing happened to me on the way up to the school on Saturday afternoon and it goes like this...

Friend JD (not to be confused with Friend JA, Jeep owner) and I were transporting HIGHLY fragile silent auction items up to the school to set up prior to our trivia night last Saturday. Lovely clear afternoon, not a cloud in the sky. Prior to setting out I ensured the load was secure then drove off.

Half way to the school, up a steep section of road, we heard a very gentle "thunk" followed by the sound of plastic wheels on bitumen. Silence...looked at each other...looked out the back window. Window wasn't there, tailgate was UP, plastic container on wheels was travelling, at speed, down the hill. Most excellent state of events.

Now we don't like to point the finger, however clearly the Volvo or its owner could not be at fault, which leaves only one vehicle and owner with motive.... Yes, well I think you know who I mean.

Luckily, we recovered the container and found that the highly fragile jewellery and hand-crafted lamps were still okay. We slammed the tailgate shut, checked it again, and continued on our way making beady eyes at every Jeep we passed.

A trivial matter!

Last Saturday night, after 3 months of planning, over 240 parents, staff and friends attended the first trivia night at our school for about 10 years. This event was a huge undertaking involving canvassing over 700 local businesses for sponsorships, prizes and silent auction items plus organising the event itself. We catered, provided beverages and ran the questions in-house (we had two very keen teachers on the job). All on a zero budget. This was not something we did in our spare time, it was a full-time job for four people for three months. As of yesterday I am three weeks behind at uni.

A beer company supplied first prize - five cases of premium beer. Second prize was 10 unreleased CDs courtesy of another parent from Warner Music. I was gunning for second prize. However, it was not to be. Our table: The Flight Centre table had a number of secret weapons (aka us) and blitzed the field. Mind you, I cannot claim credit for our win as I don't think I sat down all night due to organising duties*. I consoled myself by being the highest bidder on this:



It's a one-off pre-production bag from Oroton.

The school made $25,000 towards buying SMARTboards for our classrooms. Now I'm going to find a nice large rock and hide under there for a while...

* we organisers weren't involved in the design of the questions.

Volvo - 1 Jeep - 0

It is with the trepidation of knowing that my in-laws have a Jeep that I report the following adventure today:

I am part of a small organising team for a trivia night being held at Kelpie and Padawan Learner's school this Saturday. As part of this we needed to borrow 10 trestle tables from a neighbouring school deep in LNSM territory.

"I have a Jeep" announced fellow helper JA "It'll fit all those tables in EASILY".

Once we had decided on the right outfit to wear, ponytails at regulation height, JA and I drove off to collect said tables. But, oh dear, the tables didn't fit. Not by at least 2 inches. Not even after JA snapped off a nail trying to get them in.

"Why don't we try the Volvo" I suggested

And, guess what? They DID, with 2 inches to spare. Victory to the Volvo stationwagon!

Trouble is, now I have to take them back on Monday...

It's bean a struggle, but is this the meal to suit all?

With the myriad of dietry requirements in my extended family I have wondered what on earth we could ALL sit down and eat at the same time. It has to contend with Diabetes, Coeliac, and a special kind of Vegan/No Oil/but can have fish diet and even those radicals on the CSIRO diet. Given that I have a preference for no seafood this leaves very few foods that suit us all. Enter the vegetarian chilli dish below.


You will need:

1 large tin of 3 bean mix
1 tin corn kernals
2 tins chopped tomatoes
1 green capsicum, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1-2 cloves garlic, smooshed/chopped
1 tspn chilli
1 tspn oregano
1 tspn cumin

1. Fry onion, capsicum and garlic together (with or without oil according to dietry requirements)
2. Add all the other ingredients
3. Simmer for 30 mins

Serve on rice (unless your diet precludes you from eating carbohydrates after 3pm on a full moon, in which case wrap it in a lettuce leaf or something).

Can be topped with grated tasty cheese and sour cream if your diet allows, or the stars are aligned, or whatever.

This recipe is quick, light, protein rich, has vegies and is even better as leftovers. And thus guaranteed to be hated by the children.

If anyone has similar "all-diet friendly" recipes, email to me and I will post here.