It's Saturday, It's raining and it's time for a little nitpicking

You know, I like to give the local greengrocer and butcher a little slack when it comes to errant apostrophes because sometimes it all gets a little confusing. The occasional "apple's" or "sausage's" is not going to kill me.

However, I do think the professionals should be held to account.

I found this lovely example in a well-known national renovation magazine. I just couldn't bring myself to engage this firm to build my laundry. If they confuse their plurals perhaps they'll confuse my request for lino instead of vinyl flooring.

And this little beauty came home from Blossom's school. It's the front cover of her homework book. I'd say whoever printed this didn't do enough homework themselves.

In other news...

• I am exhausted from the new school routine. Blossom has to be at school by 8am four days per week due to her before school commitments (pilates, dance, band) and PL is at school soon after that. Leaving the house by 7.45am each morning with kids dressed, lunches packed and multiple activities catered for is all too much for this little bear. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  
• PL gets homework. Now you KNOW how I hate homework. This combined with his school support-related exercises each night is causing me apoplexy at the other end of the day. zzzzzzzzzzzzz
  
• I think I need a midday Nana nap.
  
• I would have a midday Nana nap if I wasn't trying my damnedest to get a part-time job.
  
• I am certifiably crazy. Nothing surer.
  
• I know how early and late many of you work. How on earth do you do it? Pass on your secrets, please.
  

Oh, and I've been told I need to get a slow cooker. Is that the secret to easier night-time meals?

I think I just need a cook.

Goulburn, NSW: a Grammar Nerd Strikes Back

Seen at a rest stop enroute to Sydney - a gammar nerd just couldn't take it anymore and applied his or her bestest black pen.

Not open, close

Seen on the door of a local (north shore) noodle restaurant. Love it.

Question is...where on earth did they buy a grammatically incorrect printed sign?

That Pesky Mother's Day Apostrophe

Oh, the questions that are out there in Blogland about the Mother's Day apostrophe. You know I just have to dip my oar in.

A version of Mother's Day is celebrated in many countries around the world on many different days of the year. A quick Google or Wikipedia search will tell you this. The most popular days are Mothering Sunday in the UK which is on the third Sunday of Lent and Mother's Day in many other countries on the second Sunday in May.

If your country celebrates Mother's Day on the second Sunday in May it is likely that you follow the US tradition inspired by the quest of Anna Jarvis, who wanted a 'holy' recognition of individual mothers and Julia Ward Howe, whose experiences of the American Civil War led her to call for the recognition of the role of mothers. Formal recognition of a Mother's Day as designated by Jarvis was was finally enshrined by the 1914 proclamation by then US President Woodrow Wilson.

The location of the apostrophe is part of the common debate which asks:

• Is it a day recognising your mother eg. Mother's Day


• Is it a day recognising all mothers eg. Mothers' Day, or


• Is it a day of/for mothers eg. Mothers Day

There are no winners here because all answers can be correct depending on your point of view. My view is: don't argue, choose whichever one you are comfortable with.

However, if you are a stickler for the fine print you will notice that the Proclamation issued by Woodrow Wilson in 1914 was for a Mother's Day. This use of the apostrophe was apparently stipulated by Anna Jarvis because:

it was to be a singular possessive, for each family to honour their mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world. source: here

Anna Jarvis, in fact, trademarked the terms "Mother's Day" and "second Sunday in May" in 1912.

So, if your country follows the US designation then it is correct when referring to the day in its official capacity to write Mother's Day (unless an alternative proclamation has been made in your country).

You just NEEDED to know that, didn't you...

Past Tense: Knitted, Knit or Knat?

A sneak preview of my next project:
a baby's jumper (sweater, pullover, jersey) for my next-door-neighbour
in Sublime Cashmere Merino Silk DK. Pattern from Sublime.

Yesterday three women chatted as they watched their daughters at Soccer training. One a fabulous knitter ("Mum, she's the fastest knitter I've ever seen"), one an English-as-a-foreign-language teacher at a French school and myself (general dogsbody, taxi driver, linguistics grad).

The question of the afternoon was "What is the past tense of 'to knit'". There was some muttering about irregular verbs and the like but we agreed that, somehow, "knitted" as in "I knitted a pair of socks" sounded all wrong. But was "I knit a pair of socks" any better? Perhaps it should be "I knat a pair of socks"?

Back home I consulted my trusty Macquarie Dictionary.

To Knit is, indeed, an irregular verb. The simple past tense of Knit is traditionally Knit. But that sounds horrid and could be confusing. Luckily the Macquarie provides options:

knit verb (past tense: knitted or knit)

So, in another fabulous example of people power, the once irregular verb knit has been brought back to the fold and given a regular past tense by popular demand.

Just don't say knat.

Apostrophes, people, do not indicate a plural...mostly

Okay, I can't bear it anymore. Fairlie's recent post has spurred me to say something. It's very simple, there are few exceptions. Here is M's official "I Studied Linguistics for Years so There" apostrophe tutorial:

Apostrophes are short cuts which show:

1. Belonging, and
2. Missing Bits

and that's about it. Actually, apostrophes are really just about missing bits. But humour me here.

Example of belonging: KelpieBlossom's new top is blue.

The apostrophe shortens the sentence "The top belonging to KelpieBlossom is blue" by replacing The and belonging to.

Example of missing bits: PadawanLearner didn't eat his vegetables tonight.

The apostrophe shortens the word "did not" to "didn't and indicates the "o" is missing.

Now here is the important bit:

Apostrophes do not indicate plurals. So, you don't need apostrophes such as pizza's, DVD's, orange's, apple's and eye's when pizzas, DVDs, oranges, apples and eyes are perfectly fine.

But I get it. You think these words look funny without an apostrophe so you put one in. Trust me, you are over-accessorising your words. Let context do its job for you.

Exceptions and disputes

1. Letters of the Alphabet used as words

Now, there are some disputes over apostrophes, even in grammar-nerd circles. For example, is there a case for the clarifying apostrophe? Should this sentence have apostrophes:

"Mind your P's and Q's"

The nerds are divided. Some say yes a clarifying apostrophe is needed because context can't always help eg. "He has trouble writing his as" vs "He has trouble writing his a's". Some say no provided you always use a capital letter "He has trouble writing his As"

2. Tricky ones, usually to do with questions of belonging

Is it Writer's Festival or Writers' Festival?

Is it Mother's Day or Mothers' Day?

No clear answer here. It's all too hard so I just omit the apostrophe altogether and let context do its (not it's) job. Some grammar-nerds will argue all day about this but I'm too tired.

3. Short nouns eg. do as in "event".

eg. "She always puts on great do's". These really fall into the category of clarifying apostrophes but there are so few of these that they almost don't count.

4. Belonging in words ending in 'S'

Is it "The princess's tiara fell off " or "The princess' tiara fell off" ?

Traditionally, there's no extra 'S'; but if the sentence is confusing without one then put one in. I've noticed a lot of modern authors are putting in 'S' after the apostrophe lately.

Do you disagree? Sorry not listening "lalalalalalalalalala" (fingers in ears)

PS. be rest-assured that you are still my friend even if you over-accessorise your words :-)

source: my head.

disclaimer: wrong bits and poor grammar in this post are not my fault, it's Thursday and I've been to the Easter Parade, supervised School Band practise and hosted four marauding kids at my house all afternoon.