Sydney, 6.28am

This was our view of Sydney harbour and surrounding houses at 6.28am this morning.

I woke thinking we had the most amazing sunrise. With fog. Only to realise that it was the biggest dust storm since about 1938. The sky was orange until about 8.30am. 

The dust is coming from dry, drought-affected properties in the West of the state.

Dust is everywhere and in everything.

It was in this weather that I sent my 9yo baby off to his first school camp. He seemed happy enough.

Who is a Super Hero and What is a Super Villain? Surely it can't be that hard.

The EasternMax family often plays a version of 'twenty questions' at dinner time.  Generally there is a theme.  The most popular theme is "transport".  In this game one person thinks of a form of transport and we take it in turns to ask a question that has a yes or no answer such as "is it a land transport?", "does it have wheels?" etc until one person works out the answer.  Various house rules have developed over time and it is generally fun and non-contentious.

This week we tried a new theme - Super Heroes and Super Villains.  All was going swimmingly until I chose Catwoman as a Super Villain.

According to Firegazer Catwoman is not a Super.  Catwoman, he says, is just a bad girl in a leather suit.  We have since become so embroiled in an argument over what constitutes a Super Hero or Villain that we have not yet managed to have a successful second attempt at the game.

Is Batman a Super Hero? Some say not because he is just a guy with a suit and cool gadgets - he doesn't have special powers.  What about Iron Man?  Again, a guy with a cool suit.  The Phantom? Ditto, he doesn't even have gadgets - just a horse and a dog.

What about The Joker? Surely he is a Super Villain? Or is he just a sad man with an oversupply of pancake makeup? Surely Syndrome is a Super Villain; or do the jet boots count against him?

I accused Firegazer of sexism because he would not accept Wonder Woman as a Super on account of her using bracelets and a lasso rather than super powers.  Wonder Woman is from another planet, just like Superman; surely that qualifies her as a Super?

In order to get on with the game we have come up with a working definition of a Super:

• Must wear a suit when crime-fighting, cape and mask optional.
  
• Must have a Super Power that comes from within, not with the aid of technology.
  
• Must keep his or her identity a secret and have an alter-ego.  For super villains this alter ego should be a CEO of a technology company or a Geeky Scientist. For super heroes the alter ego should be 'mild mannered'.
  
• Super Heroes must be some sort of adjunct to the local police department/military/secret service.
  
• Super Villains must want to rule the world.
  

The problem is we can't name many Super Villains that meet all these requirements and some of our favourite heroes are left off the list.  Surely Batman is a Super? The Fantastic Four don't hide their identities...and surely Lex Luthor counts as one of the best Super Villains of all time?

I'm starting to think this is a problem too complex for mere mortals and we should go back to simpler themes. I'm thinking of a transport - you have twenty questions...

The real signs of ageing

I have a friend who is way into her forties who only admits to being thirty-four. It can be so confusing judging age these days that I think many of us could get away with an age anywhere within about a 10 year range, some even more.  One can be craggy-looking at 34 and fabulous at 44. The number of stunning 50-60 year olds I've met is simply quite daunting.

Still with an 11 year old daughter I figure I can only get away with being 34 until she is about 15 before I start getting asked tricky questions.  That is unless my daughter is prepared to lower her age as well.

Even if my daughter is complicit in my plans there are a number of tell-tale signs starting to show that will foil them.  I call these the REAL signs of ageing.

First, I've bought my first moisturiser with the name "Riche" in the title.  Nothing so tell-tale as a woman who needs a little extra hydration on her skin during the day. 

Second, while reading the other night I noticed that I've started holding my book a little further away than usual. When did that happen?  A girl can't pretend to be 34 while holding her book a metre away from her face.

Third, I recently spent an evening tut tutting about the content of the music videos the young are watching these days.

Fourth, I've started considering 9.30pm a late bedtime. Seriously.  I've been putting it down to exhaustion at work but I think it's really a sign of getting old.  Not only do I feel like going to bed at 9.30pm, I look forward to it all evening.  Soon I'll be going to bed before the kids. Maybe I could get them to read me a bedtime story.

So as I pop off to bed at 9.30pm with my Hydrance Optimale Riche moisturiser on and my large print book ready on my bedside table, pausing only to shout "turn down that terrible noise!" to the teenagers next door, I ask myself When did that happen?

Sigh.

How I know Dilbert and I must work for the same company #1

Cack yourself silly with this Dilbert cartoon from here.

A heavily pregnant senior Manager calls me to discuss her upcoming maternity leave.  She works, on average, a 50-60 hour week and is concerned that no obvious plans have been made by her manager for a maternity leave replacement. 

That's no problem, I say, perhaps your manager needs a gentle reminder. I comment that it is unusual that I haven't been consulted on this but I'd be happy to work out a few options to present to her manager.  

Later that day the heavily pregnant senior Manager calls me, a little shaken.  "I spoke to my manager about a maternity leave replacement and that we had spoken and he is absolutely furious.  He said that I am HIS employee and it is nothing to do with HR whether he has organised a maternity leave replacement or not."

Then to show that his maturity has no bounds he doesn't speak to her for more than two weeks.