Thirty days ago we challenged Blossom to thirty days of respectful behaviour at all times. No tweeny unreasonableness, no teasing the brother, no stomping and/or demanding. I don't want you thinking that we had a trouble-maker on our hands. Not at all, but her moods were starting to impact on everyone in the family and the resulting disrespectfulness was becoming a habit.
The prize for this challenge? One of the things we said she couldn't have until high school - her ears pierced.
For each day that we saw disrespectful behaviour she had to add a day to the challenge. There were a couple of extra days added but on the whole we have had the most blissful thirty days where the house has run like clockwork and where the children have spoken respectfully to us and to each other. Blossom has told us that she feels so much better for the challenge and that she has learnt a lot about how to manage her moods.
And yet it doesn't end here. We've told her these earrings symbolise respectful behaviour and that every time she looks in the mirror she will be reminded what they stand for. And she knows that if she slips up over the next six weeks then the earrings will be removed.
Well done Blossom!
12 comments:
Well done indeed, all it takes is the right carrot. Hell, I was a top 5 student because I wanted a pony! My dad didn't think I could do it but you dangle a pony in front of a girl it's amazing what you can achieve :)
Alternatively, you could have just stapled her ears to the side of her head if she failed to behave.
(My brother had something like this done when he was younger because he had sticky-outy ears).
It's what we all live by, isn't it – bribery and corruption – or, at least we here do. Our such instances are far too numerous to mention. The reward approach works so much better all round than punishment and sometimes it's just a question of breaking a habit and developing a different one. Everybody gains and grows from it for, after all, who's perfect?
Well done, Blossom. I'm so glad the reward system still works for tweenies, I should be able to continue my current behaviour management strategies for a bit longer ;)
This is a really good story, of goals being set and the conditions adhered to. Congratulations all round.
So stealing this for when margot is a little older!
Gee., I skimmed Mary's comment above me and thought for a horrified split second that some cruel person had named their daughter 'maggot'.
Thank goodness I was wrong.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah... just going to say what a good idea that was. You know that she was going to get them done anyway, so a bit of positive behaviour modification is a good thing. (Though the weight of the earrings was probably what made her swim 5th instead of 4th....)
I like the respectful earrings, I like the link between behaviour and those earrings too. Hooray for 30 days of bliss.
Well done Blossom!!
Wow, she must have wanted them bad - let's hope the tween tude keeps at bay for an extended period. I've watched a couple of episodes of World's Strictest Parents lately, there are some pretty major attitude problems in kids out there - won't be happening in your house anytime soon.
Well done indeed! My ears aren't pierced, but these gorgeous dangly styles of late have had me wishing that they were! I must know how painful the piercing bit is though.
I'm having to read/comment on this in private...and Queenie will never be able to see Blossom again until she's 18. :)
Although...since we said ear-piercing at 18 was a three generation family tradition I've not heard any more about it!
Hope the earrings do the trick in maintaining the changes you want.
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