Things Perth People Like: Made in WA

Enter a food shop in Perth and you will be confronted with two choices - buy WA, or buy something from somewhere strange and untrustworthy.

In the mid 2000s National Foods faced an angry public when they started marketing the Pura milk brand in WA.  West Australians thought they were to be overrun by milk from Eastern States cows. The Parliament discussed what percentage of Eastern States milk was packaged in WA.

If it is Made in WA then you know it.  Pre-packaged carrots, almonds, milk, eggs are all clearly branded with the WA symbol so you know which product to pick up.  You will pay double for an Avocado here than you do in Sydney but it's ok - it's Made in WA.

This is not a Food Miles thing.  Western Australia is an enormous State.  It takes as long to fly to Broome as it does to Melbourne.  West Australians, however, are proud of their self-sufficiency and any suggestion from the East that they are not is roundly criticised.  Hence, our position is that we can support ourselves (with resources, grain, tourism) and we can feed ourselves (wine or olive oil from Margaret River anyone?), and in style.  Who needs the rest of Australia?

It is not only food - homewares have realised the marketing potential.  Over the weekend I saw an advert for bedding store BedShed with a stamp "Born and Bred in WA".  And as a recent returnee from the East I find myself explaining first that I was Born and Bred in WA before temporarily (16 years) decamping to the Eastern States but now have found my way home.  Conversations go so much easier after that.

Things aren't so much Random, as Hell Bogan.

2012 Sculptures by the Sea, Cottesloe

One of the joys of moving interstate is learning a new language.

It is enough that I have to remember to say "Bathers" instead of "Swimmers"or "togs".  The kids no longer take a "kit bag" to school to carry their sports gear; they take a plain old "sports bag".  And sports gear is called sports gear, not kit.  But perhaps that was peculiar to their schools, rather than a general term.

Language can be quite specific not only to a State but a suburb, or even a school.  When I was at high school in Perth many many years ago non-uniform clothes were called "civvies", yet the high school down the road called them "colours".  In Sydney "mufti" was the term used at every school my kids went to.

Blossom (13) told me last night that she has been in fits of giggles at school trying to understand what her friends are saying.  'Random' was a catch-all word for just about everything, good, bad or ugly in Sydney; while in Perth her friends put 'Hell' in front of anything to mean the same thing:

Hell No
Hell Yes

and my personal favourite:

Hell Bogan

Hell Bogan it seems is the best approximation for the negative side of 'Random'.  As in

"OMG I totes need new clothes, mine are Hell Bogan".

Perthites seem to have somewhat of a thing for bogans given the rise of the CUB (Cashed Up Bogan) in the resources boom.

Add to this 'Ceebs' (Can't Be Bothered [with]) and 'Seedy' (not hungover, just creepy or random) you get a sentence like

"OMG I totes ceebs Science today, Chem is Hell Bogan and our teacher is so seedy"

Perth

2012 Sculptures by the Sea, Cottesloe, WA

After living in the East for 16 years Firegazer, Blossom, PL, two cats, two cars, too many boxes of stuff and I have moved back to Perth.  It's a topical place what with Gina squabbling with her children and Eastern States journos squealing about the lack of taxis.

Some things haven't changed (good, bad and ugly) in 16 years:

• Magnificent beaches with FREE all-day parking (read that and weep Sydney-siders)
• Proper hot weather with low humidity
• Fish'n'Chips wrapped in large swathes of butcher's paper, sprayed in vinegar
• Sunsets over the beach.  If you have no other reason to visit, this is sufficient.
• Draconian retail laws that dictate that I must spend quality time with my family on a Sunday.
• A complete disregard for all things from the East, except for shoes or coffee from/in Melbourne which seem to be okay.
• Perthonalities.  When you live so far from anywhere its hard to attract real celebrities so we make up our own.
• Telethon.  The only state who still holds a 24 hour telethon.  Perth didn't get the memo about this one.
• Laid back pace.  I spent the first two weeks bumping into people in the street I was so out of step with the vibe.  You really need to chill when you come here.
• Casual dress code.  School cocktail party?  Shorts, thongs and t-shirt completely fine.  Fine dining?  Replace thongs with covered shoes.  The guy sitting next to you in a suit won't even blink an eye.
• Down South.  Everyone goes, every holidays.  More people, more development but once you are on the beach it's essentially the same.
• Nicknames.  Everyone is Robbo, Johnno, and Warbo or their variations Robbie, Johnnie and Warby.  Even at work.  Especially at work.  Even in posh offices.
• Rotto.  Even the holiday destinations have nicknames.  Rottnest is still top of the pops.  Just more expensive for a basic hut and BYO sheets.  Still one of the best holiday places EVA.
• Short sleeved business shirts.  Not as common as 16 years ago but I drove past an Engineering association's offices at lunch time a couple of weeks back and was confronted by a sea of bearded men wearing short sleeved shirts with pens in the top pockets.  I was glad to be spared shorts with long socks.
• The North/South divide.  Just like Sydney. No one crosses the bridge unless they have to.
• Disregard for laws.  Bike helmets? optional. 
• You can park on verges.  And in driveways (as long as you don't park on the footpath).

But some things have changed:

• Traffic.  OMG.  I was looking forward to the lack of traffic in Perth.  But no - the population has boomed but the infrastructure has stayed the same.  Perth really could do with a tunnel or three.
• Sharks.  We had sharks back in the day, we just didn't go on about them - except to our Eastern States friends to show how tough we are.  Now sharks are the in thing.  Our media just love it when they eat one of our own.  Or preferably a visitor from Sydney.
• Bali.  Bali is now a northern suburb of Perth in habited by CUBs (Cashed Up Bogans) on the swing shift from their FIFO (fly in fly out) jobs in the resources industry.
• Rotto.  Rottnest Island is still a favourite destination but you have to win a ballot to get a place to stay in peak times and it's cheaper to go to Bali.
• Tattoos.  I feel like one of the few people in Perth without a full or half-sleeve tattoo.  You get them on the cheap in Bali.
• Medical tourism.  Want a boob job?  Go to Thailand.  Why not go with the girls for a fun week away and have the whole body done over?
• Taxis.  Forget it.  There aren't enough. Ever.  The Taxi board has just been granted 300 more licences but with the resources boom sucking up labour they're not sure how to get people to drive the taxis.  Luckily the bike paths are fabulous here.  
• Airport.  Don't catch an early morning flight.  With FIFO all the rage here the airport is overcrowded every morning with the Hi-Vis shirt brigade.  
• Cost of everything.  This is not a cheap place to live.  The cost of labour has driven up the cost of food, eating out, household services and rent.  If you work in resources you'll earn the salary to match but it's a two-speed economy.  It's really best to entertain at home.
• Ties.  Only worn by lawyers and sports coaches/administrators.  Finally, we've worked out it's too bloody hot for them.

It's easy to pick on Perth, and many people do.  This is not advisable.  Perth people get very touchy about their city and you don't want to mess with a CUB who's tired after working 21x12 hour shifts in a row. 

The thing is not to compare Perth to Sydney or Melbourne but to accept Perth for itself.   If you accept Perth without making comparisons it is a sea-change paradise.  If you stop comparing you will notice all the things that the East doesn't have.  Like lack of stress, casual dress code, fab weather and gold rush feel. So, I've resolved to get with the Vibe of the place, get myself a nickname, invite people over for a BBQ and enjoy getting home from work in the daylight with enough time to ride to the beach to dodge the sharks.

So come visit, but if you're from Over East keep it quiet.  I don't want to be accused of harbouring undesirables

An unexpected trip to Perth

My grandmother, known to us as Carnie, died on Wed 7th January. She was 91 years old and one of the lucky ones to die simply and of old age. So while we were saddened to lose a lady who meant so much to us I was happy that I was at a funeral that really was a celebration of a life.

My 5 yo nephew certainly lightened up the proceedings when he looked in the window of the hearse then turned around and announced to us all:

"Carnie's in a box!"

Being Western Australian by birth, the kids and I flew back for a week to attend the funeral and catch up with family. While there for the funeral we were not going to let the opportunity pass to bask in the sunshine.

We noted that the ban on climbing the pylon at Cottesloe is now official.

We had fun playing with our cousins and even more fun discovering that we had many more cousins (second, once-removed, etc) - such is the nature of family funerals.

And of course we couldn't let the week pass without eating a burnt Hawaiian Chelsea Pizza (it's sent through the oven twice) washed down with a glass of Mann Champagne while sitting with friends at the Dinosaur Park (in Kings Park).

The Book Tourist's Guide to Australia

I asked and you delivered. Here are your choices for the books that would give a visitor an insight into the social fabric of your Australia.

Sydney Suburbs:

Cronulla beach culture: Puberty Blues by Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey
Surry Hills before it was gentrified: The Harp in the South by Ruth Park
Western Suburbs: Ten Things I Hate about Me by Randa Abdel-Fattah (young fiction)
North Sydney, Lane Cove (plus Canberra & Malvern, Vic): Dead Set by Kel Robertson (crime fiction)
Eastern Suburbs, esp. Bondi: The Les Norton books by R G Barrett (popular fiction)
Early Urban Settlers plus a glimpse of boarding school in the Blue Mountains: Seven Little Australians by Ethel Turner (written 1894)

Melbourne Suburbs:

Bayside: Sunnyside by Joanna Murray-Smith
Northern: The Murrary Whelan Novels by Shane Maloney (crime fiction)
St Kilda Road, Inner City in the 1920s: The Phryne Fisher Novels by Kerry Greenwood
Brunswick Street in the 90s: The Crocodile Club by Kaz Cooke
Suburban share house (poss. set Carlton, Fitzroy? Williamstown?) 1960s/70s: Monkey Grip by Helen Garner
Acland St, St Kilda: Cafe Sheherazade by Arnold Zable
St Kilda and the seedier side of life: Candy by Luke Davies
Williamstown & Kensington: The Watcher on the Cast Iron Balcony by Hal Porter
Suburban professionals: Seven Types of Ambiguity by Elliot Perlman, Three Dollars by Elliot Perlman

Perth:
1950s suburbia: The Shark Net by Robert Drewe
1960s suburbia: Cloudstreet by Tim Winton
The 'iron ore state' from 1950s-1990s: Floodtide by Judy Nunn

Central and Remote Australia:

Malaya, Alice Springs, Burketown Qld: A Town Like Alice by Nevile Shute (set late 1940s)
An epic of Aboriginal Australia in the Gulf Country: Carpentaria by Alexis Wright

Other Rural Australia:

Rural WA (Narrogin): A Fortunate Life by Albert Facey (memoir set around late WWI)
Rural WA (Albany? Lancelin?): Dirt Music by Tim Winton
Goulburn, NSW: My Brilliant Career by Miles Franklin (1901)
Mt Macedon area, Victoria: Picnic at Hanging Rock by Joan Lindsay (early 1900s)
Beachside country towns near Melbourne: The Broken Shore by Peter Temple

Queensland:

Apart from Carpentaria above, the recommendations we have are to listen to Jimmy Barnes and Shannon Noll (for Townsville) and to watch Muriel's Wedding. Oh man, did I have to type that?

Although there was also a suggestion to read the Nick Earls novels for a taste of 1980s Brisbane.

One International Entry:

Melinda suggests that Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns gives an insight into small town Georgia.

Thanks for your entries! If you have thought of any more books that give an insight into your local social fabric let me know.

*photos by me from our trip to the amazing red centre in 2007

Happy 90th Birthday!

My paternal Grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday in Perth today. She shares her birthday with Rembrant (1606) and Iris Murdoch (1919).

Happy Birthday from the EasternMax family!

Visiting your old home town - the tricky part

I have lived in three cities, in three different states, and one country town. One of the perennial issues when visiting a former city is to decide: Is this a trip to catch up with friends or is this a trip to catch up with the city. It can be both, but both can be difficult to achieve.

Those of you who live in a different city from your family (and/or friends) will understand this. When you visit your home city it can end up being a string of home visits, sometimes two or three a day just to make sure you've caught up with everyone. Add in a few country relatives and your whole time is taken up leaving no time for catching up with your memories of your former home town. Going from house to house is no fun for the kids and if we did this everytime they'd hate the trip. There has to be a holiday element in there somewhere.

So we tend to divide trips into ones to visit the city and ones to visit the friends. This recent trip to Melbourne was largely a city visit. Our January trip to Perth will be a catch up with family and friends visit.

Even though Melbourne was a city visit we did catch up with a couple of friends.

• Fairlie, The Poolboy, Queenie and Impossible Princess were great hosts and tour guides
  
• S from TeamSAK is looking fabulous despite her illness this year. The kids enjoyed playing with Kingsley.
  
• Ahubby from TeamSAK brought around his new wheels (Firegazer was salivating, and NO he can't have one)
  
• I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to catch up with my friends in the No. 1 Melbourne Ladies Bookclub this time and
  
• Domestic Goddess's family was in Canberra, so we caught up with them on the way back to Sydney.

and to everyone else, I'd love to catch up with you next time I get a leave pass. Or perhaps you might like to come and visit us here...

*images from here and here