When we moved to Sydney five years ago I had a consulting business and three days of work a week lined up. However, after arriving here with a little girl who was about to start school and a little boy about to start pre-school I decided that my time was best spent with my children rather than a demanding client.
I thought it was fabulous. I got involved in the new school and the new pre-school, I got to know my new city and I was around the school enough to form strong friendships which helped me settle into a new city.
And then that question started to raise its ugly head at social gatherings - "What do you do?" Now you know the answer that is expected is what paid work do you do. Like...
I'm in publishing, or
I work with [insert CBD firm of choice], or
I'm in real estate [this is Sydney after all]
At first I found myself saying "I used to be in Human Resources but I'm taking a break". I was cross at the question being asked because I couldn't answer with a suitably corporate-sounding response.
And then I got over myself. Completely over myself. Soon I was proudly saying "I'm a mother". Not in any meek way but in the same way that you might imagine someone saying "I'm the CEO of fancy ASX-listed company of choice". I felt much better.
Now that I have been back in paid work for a week I've been contemplating how I would answer that question now. I hope when next asked that I will still say "I'm a mother".
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there. May you put motherhood right at the top of your CV.
23 comments:
That's excellent.
Happy Mothers Day. I'm the only one up... so much for breakfast in bed!
Try telling people you're a student of medieval literature and see what response you get. ;) Happy mother's day, hope it's a great one!
I have to admit, as someone on maternity leave, I always feel the need to follow a statement on my current status with "but I'm usually a Communications Director"...and feeling the need to justify doing what is, arguably the most important job we'll ever have, kinda sucks.
You knit. Tell them that you're in fashion design and manufacturing.
Happy mother's day to you too!
Used to start with .... well my last job was in ... but I'm with you - got over myself and now I'm just 'say it loud and proud' mother. Happy Mother's Day :)Hope the dive back into paid work has been a good one.
Took me a long time too. Now I too quite happily say "I'm a Mum"...
Happy Mother's Day dear M.
nice post, M!
oh - and Happy CEO Day ;
So many of my "mum friends" feel the same way! I used to hold onto my previous job as validation that I actually contributed, but now I am proud to say I stay home with my girls. In fact not many people we know can afford to so I feel extra specially lucky! I hope you had a lovely mothers day. I am helping my Mum pack before she leaves tomorrow. Very sad. Sob.
From the time I was a small child I always thought I'd be a working mom, but it hasn't worked out that way. For a long time I really struggled with my role at home, but then I discovered it got in the way of my job.
I love the way you've fully embraced it.
Happy Mother's Day!
Welcome back to the world of employment outside the home. How is the juggle going? Great post, always a tricky question to answer, I feel tongue tied when I try and give 2 answers at once!
A great post, I don't think enough Mums say this with pride...
Hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day..
I considered answering that question with "I'm a mother", but I thought people might (quite erroneously) get the impression that I organise the house, clean the house, organise the bloke... when the truth is that I do the bare minimum just as I always did when I went out to work, and I find I don't really want to share with strangers exactly what I do, or why I do it. So I tell them "I play at home".
Happy Mother's Day. I adore being a Mum but I say I'm a Tap Dance Teacher. Just because I think that sounds pretty cool.
The perfect response as it is the most demanding/rewarding job in the world. Happy Mother's Day.
Happy Mothers Day to you too!
The thing that used to really bother me was when we'd go the husband's work functions and people would always ask about the kids, who was baby sitting them, etc.
I always felt as though people could think of nothing else to ask me, like my interests and though processes started and ended with the kids.
To counter that I'd then find myself trying to show people that I had more to offer than innane small talk about babysitters which then annoyed me even more because I was trying to prove something to these people.
I'd just end up angry with myself for not wearing the Mum badge proudly. Now I just don't talk to people. Much easier really.
Happy Mothers day to you too - I just scrolled down mid blog and saw that Duyvken said exactly the same thing, doesn't matter I suppose - you just get double the wishes!
I got a new camera for my present and I love it.
I hope your 3 offical jobs (wife, mother, paid employment) amongst others are all going well in conjunction with each other.
Happy Mother's Day to you! I'm not a mother but I hate that question (along with "where did you go to school"??- who cares!) so I've started to ask people 'what do you love to do?' instead - much more interesting. I enjoy my work but it doesn't define who I am. I like your response and hope it doesn't change!
I'm a mother. It's is my proudest accomplishment. That is said without any sarcasm or without an overdose of sugar. I am endlessly proud and delighted to be the mother to my children.
You should be beyond proud too. You're a mother.
No matter what we are paid to do we are still mothers , thank goodness .
Ugh. I hate that 'and what do you do?' question. Such a cop-out.
My husband and I have an Italian surname that's pretty close to that of an Italian-Australian couple who started a notorious 'gentlemen's entertainment' business here in Perth, so I just say we're 'in hospitality' and leave it at that.
Lovely post M.
Hope you had a wonderful day.
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