Incentives

Sydney harbour, 6.38am

Incentives are the cornerstone of society. The question "what is in it for me?" is at the core of every activity we do. Even if what is in it for me is a warm feeling of doing good.

You may have a child whose incentives are a warm feeling of doing good. Or you may have a normal child who is incentivised by money or goods in kind. I have normal children. By this definition, very normal children.

Pocket money has been a hit or miss affair in our house for a long time. Usually the biggest problem is me. I forget to give out the pocket money or get lax on the chores the kids are supposed to do for pocket money. Or the kids simply weren't ready.

Last year we reintroduced the concept and it has stuck. Our children both get $5 a week. For this they do the things that save me the most time: make their beds, raise/lower their blinds and help set/clear the table. Simple, easy, makes sense to them because not only do they get $5 but they have neat rooms most of the time. On Saturday, for a bit of fun and a little tongue in cheek, we have military style room inspections after which the $5 is ceremoniously handed out.

Unlike many parents we encourage the children to spend their money. They don't have to put it in an account or give any to charity, although they have done this (recent bushfire appeals). And often the children have far more expensive tastes than their budgets allow.

Last week two new incentive programs emerged in our house.

First, my 8yo discovered lay-by. I am not a big fan of lay-by and have never used it. My son however is most excited by it.

He wanted a toy at our local toy-store that cost $43.50. He had $35 saved towards it. This toy is quite hard to get and we were surprised our local had one. First he tried the usual "Mum, you buy it and I'll pay you back". uh-uh, no can do. Then the shop assistant piped up "He can lay-by it". So he did. She wrote out his name, took his $35 and told him she would hold onto his toy until he could earn the remaining $8.50.

Well, he spent the rest of the afternoon scouring his room for every 5c and 10c coin that had fallen under his bed, down the side of the couch and in the toy box. By doing this he scrounged up another $2.45 of his own money. He worked out that with that week's pocket money he would still be short $1.05 and was on the look out for jobs to do.

That is how I was relieved of kitty litter duty for the rest of the week.

On Saturday after a week of scrounging money, emptying kitty litter and making beds he proudly went to the shop with his $8.50 and claimed his first lay-by purchase.

The second incentive program emerged after a bet. Our 'tween' can be a little testy with her parents sometimes. By sometimes I mean every.waking.hour. One night at dinner Firegazer and Blossom each laid $1 on the table. Blossom had bet she could go the entire evening without being rude or grumpy in anyway towards her parents. In addition, Firegazer could openly bait her.

Fabulous. Blossom, a competitive type at the best of times, did not once rise to Firegazer's baiting. And he tried hard. She won $1. We had a lovely stress-free evening.

The next day she asked whether she could have $2 extra per week, at risk, if she was polite to her parents for the entire week. We weren't allowed to bait and we had to give her one warning per week. Well, how could we refuse. First, it would substantially improve our lives and second, there was absolutely no.chance.whatsoever that she would earn the $2.

So far we are right. The first day of the new incentive was yesterday and she'd lost the $2 within the first hour of waking up, despite the one allowable warning.

Now we have to wait until next Sunday to watch how quickly she'll lose the $2 next time. Perhaps Firegazer and I should have a bet on it.